Wednesday, March 27, 2013

5 Games On The iPhone That Remind You Of A 90’s Man Cave


The Man Cave is mostly on the decline these days. Now that an Xbox 360 and a 50-inch LCD can give you all the magnificent joy that games can provide, there’s very little reason to actually stock your basement or garage with devices that require other people to come over and play. After you’ve reduced a Korean teenager to screaming fits over a Halo match online, there’s really no reason to invite your neighbor over so he can leave sweaty palm prints on your ping pong table. We’re moving toward that sci-fi future where people are kept clean and sterile and isolated from one another, and I for one couldn’t be happier.
But if you want a bit of a nostalgia trip—or if you’re too young to remember what it was like to hang out with other people—here are 4 games on the iPhone that mimic the average contents of a 90’s Man Cave:

Glow Hockey 2

Air Hockey was a glorious way to work up an afternoon’s resentment toward friends and family. The gentle humming of the motor and the CRACK! of the puck as it ricocheted  around that carcinogen-coated table was pure magic.
In the final death throes of the arcades, most places brought in tables that glowed, a gimmick that didn’t exactly keep the quarters rolling in. But the tables were cheap to salvage for your home rec room, and now you can relive the experience on your iPhone. The app doesn’t come with a father that takes out his frustrations on the table for an hour and then quietly tells you to never get married, but you can always imagine that part.

Foosball

I was never a big fan of this game, but a foosball table was the staple of every rec room, from the ones in your garage to the church basements where the AA meetings were held. You spin a bunch of long-legged guys vertically and chaotically attempt to slam a ball past the goalie, and the app does a very passable imitation of that. It doesn’t recreate the beer can rings or the cigarette burns on the hand rests, but give them time.

Pool

There are several versions of this game on the iPhone, some free and some not. You can take your pick, but it really is a fun way to kill 5 minutes. You can pretend you’re shooting your troubles away in your co-worker’s basement paradise, rather than sitting through an online course in traffic school to avoid getting 2 more points on your driver’s license.

Poker

Again, there are dozens of versions of this to choose from, even an app that lets you play against famous dead people from history. It’s one of the most common games in the world for a reason, and one of the few iPhone apps that can actually prepare you for playing the real thing. Your air hockey skills aren’t going to be genuinely honed by sliding your finger across a smartphone screen, but the various poker apps can teach you the basic rules of a game that predates the steam engine.

Pac-Man

The most recognizable video game in history needs no introduction, but it’s easy to forget how popular it was in its prime. Arcades with the friendly yellow mouth were standing in the grimy corners of gas stations, restaurants, truck stops and more, and by the early 90’s it was retro enough to be a fixture of many home rec rooms.

A genuine Pac-Man arcade today will cost you about as much as your first car, but you can get the game on your iPhone for the cost of a few rounds in quarters from back in 1991. You won’t have the satisfaction of hearing a quarter drop through that magical slot and clink its way through the insides of an arcade, but you can make the noises yourself.  That bus seat belongs to you anyway, and it never hurts to throw out a boxcar Willie vibe to keep it that way.

You can load these apps on your iPhone today and start enjoying your virtual man cave. And if you share your iPhone with someone to play Glow Hockey 2, you can even get the joy of someone else’s dirty finger smudges on your personal property. Then you can go home and lovingly run another handi wipe over your Xbox controller and leave the hippies in the past where they belong.

Author bio:

John is a passionate tech blogger and writer. He also writes as a freelancer for some respected brands such as ProtectYourBubble.com, a leading insurer of tech gadgets and mobile phones.